This past weekend, my wife and I attended the Orem Utah Temple open house. It was absolutely spectacular. The art on the walls, the beautiful colors, the stained glass — everything stood out. What an amazing time when we have temples visible from virtually every vantage point in Utah Valley!
While we were there, we had an experience that reminded me of some important truths.
First of all, we were walk-ins. We did not make a reservation to go as is usually recommended. We did not receive an e-mail with directions or instructions or guidelines for our visit. We just decided to go on whim. So, we drove right to the temple grounds. When I made the turn from southbound Geneva Road into the temple parking lot, it immediately became clear that we were not supposed to be in there. Parking for ushers and other volunteers was available at the meetinghouse adjacent to the temple, but I realized that ordinary visitors like us needed to park at another location and ride a shuttle bus to the temple. The system made perfect sense; I just hadn’t received the memo. While we awkwardly waited in the queue of cars to turn around, we were approached by a volunteer whose job clearly was to inform folks like us of our error and direct us to the visitor parking lots up the road. I rolled down my widow.
“Welcome to the temple!” the man said smiling in a kind and patient tone. “We’re so glad you’re here.”
“However,” he continued, “because of limited capacity in this parking lot, we can’t accommodate visitor parking, but there’s a parking lot a mile or so up the road for visitors, and a shuttle bus will bring you right back here.”
I thanked him, and we drove up to the parking lot and took the shuttle bus back to the temple grounds. Everything else went without a hitch. It was a great experience.
It may just be the hostile, impatient, overburdened, road-raged society we live in that has made me cynical, but for some reason, I anticipated a different reaction from the volunteer parking attendant. “You can’t park here” he could have insisted. “Did you read the e-mail?” or “You need to turn around — follow the signs!” could also have been expected and even understandable. Who knows? Maybe after the two-hundredth time that day, he probably wanted to say those things in that way.
But he didn’t. He was patient. He greeted us with kindness and made us feel welcome to be there, even though we were misdirected walk-ins without an appointment. I was grateful for his example and I noticed it immediately. I felt like I had been taught and treated in a Christlike way.
Interestingly, these qualities of kindness and welcome were reiterated in a spiritual thought that a colleague of mine shared in a meeting at work this morning. She told a story about someone she knows named Anthony. To make a long story short, Anthony is a member of the Church with a familiar story — a rocky upbringing, drug and alcohol issues, trouble with the law, and except for a stint in the military and regular work in the trucking business, a life void of direction and purpose. Anthony’s introduction to the Church began with regular glimpses of the Bountiful Utah Temple on the hill from I-15 on a regular trucking run through Utah. One night, after asking Siri to “call the Mormons,” he talked to some missionaries at the Winter Quarters, Nebraska Visitor Center, was directed to the missionaries serving in the geographic area where he lived in Colorado, started meeting with them regularly, and was eventually baptized. Anthony found in his newly found faith what had been missing from his life before.
Not long after that, however, Anthony’s experience at church soured his budding testimony. At church, Anthony was never invited to pray or speak. He didn’t feel like people noticed him or cared if he was there. One day, not long after his baptism, Anthony went to the Relief Society room after sacrament meeting having forgotten that the men met in another room for their quorum meeting (a disadvantage to the two-hour church meeting schedule is remembering which meeting is when!). A sister in the ward then approached Anthony and reminded him with some insistence that he did not belong in that room. Another heated disagreement with a member of the ward, combined with other unfortunate experiences spanning several months, pushed Anthony over the edge and he decided he was no longer interested in the church and blocked the numbers of the few key contacts that he had.
Over the course of the next year, Anthony experienced a messy divorce and moved to another area. As he was moving into his new apartment, the missionaries happened to be there making visits at the same complex. Anthony determined that to be a sign of God’s awareness of him, and his heart began to soften. He made the decision to attend the ward in his new area, and that first Sunday was greeted and fellowshipped by a brother in the ward that became a good friend. Feeling welcomed and noticed ushered Anthony onto a better path that led to increased gospel learning, participating in ordinances like performing baptisms for the dead (in the Bountiful Utah Temple no less, having come full circle from those lonely nights on the highway before his conversion), a Melchizedek priesthood ordination, and even receiving his own endowment.
What a difference a little more “We’re so glad you’re here” makes over any “You don’t belong here.”
But what does this mean for us? Maybe there are parts of Anthony’s story that echo your own personal story. Maybe someone like Anthony is a member of your family. Maybe an Anthony has been coming to your ward for a few weeks. Maybe there are Anthonys contemplating coming to your ward this Sunday, and God is preparing you to be the kind of friend and minister that will make a difference for them and make them feel welcome. Maybe you have already had the opportunity to be kind to someone like Anthony, but you could have done more and regret standing by watching others extend a hand —or worse— leaving someone behind in need of a friend that no one else took the time to greet for the same reasons you didn’t.
Even when unfortunate moments occur that result in offense or misunderstandings at church or in our efforts to minister or engage with others in our day to day lives, I am confident that very few people intend harm. There are mean, self-centered, and inconsiderate people everywhere, for sure. But I don’t think most people intend to be exclusionary or unwelcoming. When our hearts are good, it is easier to make choices that make a difference for us and the people we can help. There is hope for us all! That said, it is common and natural to wonder how to be more welcoming. Fortunately, Anthony himself offered a few pointers that provide an insightful starting point for us as we strive to be more welcoming (in Anthony’s words):
- Make time to reach out. Everyone is busy. When you reach out, it tells the person that even though you’re busy, they matter and are important.
- Get them involved. Invite them to do service, play softball, or just have a meal. Talk is cheap, take action.
- Include God. We are nothing without God. It is Him working in us! Do the work—leave the results to God. Patience is key.
- Go to the temple and put their name in the box. [My bishop] did that for me for two years.
- Don’t judge. We all have things we struggle with. My scars, tattoos, arrest record, and battle with alcoholism have all increased my testimony and faith more than without them.
These and others you may think of on your own can make a big difference in creating the welcoming culture a true community centered on the Savior requires. Consider the following story as told in a recent Inspirational Message produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:1
I’d like to think that in the very moment we encounter someone to be welcomed, we have a choice. Just like the good brother who greeted us at the Orem Utah Temple chose kindness, we can choose how we treat others. My hope is that we will smile and with a genuine and spirited warmth declare to all who cross our path, “we’re so glad you’re here!”
References
- “Overcoming Challenges,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (2023) https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2023-06-0060-overcoming-challenges?lang=eng&alang=eng&collectionId=bb99b5e9f37d09bba5d32046e551f7196a301950
Dillon Boss 